Okay okay okay, knife maniacs coming back at ya with another great piece of equipment.
Today we will be talking about Swiss Army knives!
Everybody has heard about them, probably everybody has seen them. The name “Swiss army knife” was adopted by US soldiers during WW2, because they couldn’t pronounce the actual name “Offiziersmesser”.
Yeah, that’s not a complicated name at all.
These knives are made by a company named Victorinox AG, and they have been around since 1890.
That’s a long service history for knives. During 1880s, the Swiss military ordered new knives to be made for their soldiers, and they were very specific about what they wanted.
The knife had to have a can opener, so soldiers could open their canned food, it also had to have a screwdriver, so soldiers could disassemble their military issued rifles, AND it also had to be lightweight, so it could easily fit in a pocket and don’t add any extra weight.
The end result was a pocket utility knife, that is still in military service today.
Don’t you feel stupid laughing about those “silly tiny little scissors” right now?
Swiss Army knife variations
Any tool you can imagine was built in the Swiss Army knife at one point or the other.
Default tools include, but are not limited to: small blade, nail cleaner/file, wood saw, fish scaler, scissors, wire scraper, pruning blade, bit driver, Phillips screwdriver, hoof cleaner, shackle opener, can opener, multipurpose hook, tweezers, toothpick and so on.
New models come with USB stick, LED light, digital clock/thermometer/barometer/alarm.
Some models even have freaking Bluetooth! I mean come on! Bluetooth? In a knife??
Bet you would like to be in Swiss Army right now, wouldn’t you?
There were a few models that even had a butane lighter built in them. They had an easy-start adjustable flame, able to burn properly at heights of up to 1,500 meters above sea level.
Pretty impressive for a small pocket knife, huh?
Too bad they were never sold in US, because for some reasons in a country, where you can order a firearm online, the army grade knife with a butane torch “does not pass safety regulations”.
In 2010, Victorinox announced a new Swiss Army knife model, that was called “Presentation Master”. They had the FINGERPRINT SCANNERS built in them!
When I started writing this article, I knew that these knives were impressive, but now they look more impressive than some people I know. I mean damn. Victorinox really tries hard to be the best of the best.
Modern day uses
And the impressive stuff continues to pile up.
Did you know that Swiss Army knives have been present in all NASA space missions since 1970s? The model was called “Master Craftsman”, and every astronaut that was in space since 1970, has been carrying one with them at all times.
So now this knife really makes me feel bad about myself.
Not only does it have all the cool tools to kill a bear, make a pelt from it, build a shelter, transfer your digital documents using Bluetooth or USB, build a fire, keep your teeth and nails clean, disassemble military issued firearms, but it also is traveling to space every chance it gets?
If there were any women in knife communities around the world, I’m sure Victorinox Swiss Army knife would be “the guy she told you not to worry about”.
Swiss military is still using this utility knife in their everyday operations, and the “Soldier model” is constantly upgraded to suit a common soldier’s needs everyday.
Civilians can choose from a large variety of different models, different loadouts, and they can even buy the default military model if they want- Victorinox does not differentiate its customers.
Here are some tricks you can do with Swiss Army knife:
The Swiss Army knife is a must have for any knife maniac, or a regular citizen.
Maybe it will not help you in a self defense situation as good as Karambit might, but I promise you, once you start carrying it with you, you will be constantly surprised by many different ways you can use it in everyday life.
Term “Swiss Army Knife” nowadays stands for exceptional quality and problem solving, adaptability and multifunction.
This knife has been added to New York’s museum of Modern Art for its design.
This knife has been added to Munich’s museum of Applied Art for its function and impact on our culture.
This knife can probably be a better boyfriend than you.
This knife can impress your mom better than you.